I have to keep remembering it’s not about information and knowledge in this journey of life. It’s not about finding the right system, program, book, or answer – even though I love the right answers. It’s not even about reading the Bible and then closing it up again, but rather it is about knowing God in each trying circumstance.
Every time this journey feels so difficult, I try hard to figure out what to do. I try to find the secret to wrapping up life in a nice tidy box. But it’s not about that at all. Besides, that was part of Adam’s and Eve problem in the garden of Eden (Genesis 3). They didn’t really need more information from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, did they? Too bad they didn’t realize they were trading more information and knowledge for walking, talking, and communing with God.
But I’m just like them! I want information. And answers. A, B, C, or D. I trade opportunities to know you, God, for ways to wrap up this life in a neat little package that I can handle. But this life is be unwrapped and explored with You as my guide – not reduced down to a summation void of emotion, risk, and adventure.
It’s not about information and knowledge. It’s about walking with God and letting Him show me all things. It is about connecting and fellow-shipping with Him (and with people). It is much easier to do something than it is to ask and trust God and then wait for my spirit to quiet down so that I can feel His presence and hear His answer.
Lord God, every time in my life when I don’t understand life or people and I open myself up to You and Your ways, seeking You and Your ways, You have never deserted me, never failed me. You have been there and come into my dark places. You have revealed to me new understanding – about Yourself and myself in relation to You. It is like you part the clouds so I see amazing vistas – of your glory, love, mercy, power, in the very circumstances that annoy me.
Help me God to open myself up to You and to walk with You on this journey.
Help me to let go of trying to wrestle life into my take of what it should be. Help me to simply walk the path, looking and watching for You, knowing that every time I ask You to appear and draw closer in my places of need – You are faithful and full of grace to do so. Then I come to know You more. Then I’m filled up with You, not this awful cesspool of junk that has a tendency to bubble up and leak out in my most frustrated moments – when I’m trying to contain life.
Underneath always, are your ever lasting arms if I am still long enough to feel them.
In it all and through it all, there You are God, every time I seek You.